Willie Wanka PRO mkII Fantasy Machine Review
Welcome to my review of the Willie Wanka PRO MkII Fantasy Machine! I did a lot of browsing and researching before buying my first fuck machine. They often go for quite a bit of cash, so I wanted to make sure that what I was buying was right. I looked at a few smaller ones, particularly Pipedream’s ‘The Bigger Bang’ and the Doc Johnson/Kink ‘Power Banger’. The smaller size appealed to me, as did the slightly less intimidating appearance that some of the more ‘industrial’ looking machines have.
The Power Banger appealed most to me, due to the Vac-U-Lock system, but I decided to ask for advice first by messaging the very helpful people at sexmachines.co.uk. I was advised against both of those, and recommended the Willie Wanka PRO MkII. The size and the appearance did put me off a bit, as well as wondering how on Earth I’d hide it when guests came around! But what is the point in asking for advice, just to ignore it? So I trusted them, and ordered my very own pink Willie Wanka PRO MkII. And then decorated it with Pusheen stickers. Obviously.
What’s in the Box?
The machine arrives in a discreet brown box, and comes with everything you need (except for the dildo obviously, so make sure to pick one up before buying or you’ll just be sadly looking at the machine whilst you wait desperately for your next-day Amazon Prime order).
The box contains:
• The machine itself
• Power pack and power lead
• Speed controller
• 2 T-Legs
• Allen key
• Deluxe Vac-U-Lock dildo adaptor
• Bottle of lubrication machine oil
• Instruction Booklet
The machine also comes with a one-year warranty, so you don’t need to worry about breakdowns for a while. I’ve had mine for about 10 months now, and haven’t had any issues.
Strong and Stable
Unlike the claims made by the Tory government in the run up to the 2017 general election, the Willie Wanka PRO MkII is, in fact, rather strong and stable. With 12.8kg of steel and machinery, this thing isn’t going anywhere when in use. It holds its own even on high power, maintaining its smooth, seamless thrust. Having seen other machines running on full power, some of them do somewhat resemble the Conservative party in Spring 2019. Strong and stable are not words that spring to mind. I’ve seen machines that shake and seem completely unusable on full power! But this one is sturdy on maximum speed, no matter how big the dildo (well, in my experience… I could always try bigger dildos, you know, for science) and no matter how long you use it for (I’ve already done a lot of science on this point). Even for anal with relatively large toys, it doesn’t falter. I will say that it will probably slide around if used on a solid floor. Use it on a carpet or rug, though, and it won’t be going anywhere.
This is quite possibly my favourite thing about the machine. I adore the Vac-U-Lock system. One of the things I most wanted to avoid was buying a machine that came with dildos that I couldn’t find replacements for. This is for several reasons.
1) I’ve been known to accidentally melt dildos.
2) Dildos naturally wear out eventually, and when that happens, the machine would become effectively useless if they couldn’t be replaced.
3) Damn, a girl needs some dildo variety in her life!
The Vac-U-Lock system, invented by Doc Johnson, basically solves this problem. They have so many Vac-U-Lock toys and attachments that it’s enough to keep any toy-addict satisfied. You can buy anything from UR3 dicks and jelly dildos, to double penetrators, to fisting dildos. The only problem I have with the Vac-U-Lock system is that firmer dildos, like jelly or silicone, can be quite difficult to remove without damaging them. I prefer UR3 toys though, and these are super easy to remove due to how pliable they are.
Ease of Use
I do find this machine very easy to use, once it’s all set up and ready to go, so long as you’ve remembered to turn it on at the wall, the power pack and the speed controller. It’s powered simply by a speed dial, which I decorated with stickers to create arbitrary power levels for my cam shows.
It’s super easy to adjust the angle of penetration. Just loosen the knobs on the back and slide to the desired position before tightening again. It can be adjusted to give a 45 degree angle.
The machine has an 8″ adjustable stroke length, which is so useful as you can find the depth of thrust to suit you. Changing this isn’t the easiest, and needs a spanner to do so (it comes with one). This is done via a nut on the back of the flywheel. You may need some pliers to get it tight enough, but once this is done, you can just leave it set to your preferences. The flywheel looks really cool when in motion, too.
It is quite heavy at 12.8kg (not that you’d expect something like this to be light), so setting it up and moving it around are the most cumbersome things about the machine. Thankfully, if you have somewhere you can hide it (like a nice cupboard) you can just leave it up and shove it out of sight when not in use! If you do want to take it down, though, it’s as simple as removing both of the T-legs and storing it flat somewhere.
Now, a sex machine is never going to be silent, and I’ve heard that there are a lot of noisier ones out there, but this still isn’t ‘quiet’. On the lower speeds you could probably call it quiet, but on the higher speeds, you’re going to be wondering if the neighbours can hear you and are wondering what you’re up to! You can solve this problem by buying a fully detached house, or moving to the middle of nowhere so you don’t have any neighbours. Or you could just use it for long enough that your neighbours move out. Problem solved.
Another drawback, though this may not be relevant for every machine, is that one of the legs leaked a weird oil stuff during transportation one time. It all leaked into the case it was being carried in, as one of the legs was stored upside down and it came out of the hole in the top of the leg. I can’t say whether this is an issue with all machines or just mine, but if you’re worried, make sure not to store the legs upside down.
Benefits over Original Willie Wanka
I’ve not owned the original Willie Wanka, as this is my first (and currently only) machine, but sexmachines.co.uk lists the following benefits over the original.
• The Willie Wanka PRO MkII PRO Fantasy Machine has a greater torque.
• It has a slightly faster stroke speed.
• It is quieter when operated at full speed.
• It has slightly better stability due to solid steel legs.
The better stability and the faster stroke speed were what sold it for me at the time, and in a week you won’t even remember spending the extra money.
The Nerdy Stuff
• 1 year UK and Worldwide warranty
• 72 watt 24V industrial motor
• Stroke length can be adjusted using a spanner (from 1″ to 8″)
• Stroke speed: 0-200 rpm (infinite settings)
• Torque: 40 in-lbs
• Horse power: 1/12th
• 16″ Shaft rod (can be extended using optional extension rod(s)
• Power pack can be disconnected and be stored separately
• Speed controller can be disconnected and be stored separately
• Height 49cm, Length 75cm, Width 30cm
• Weight: 12.8kg net, 15.1kg gross
• 45 degree angle adjustability
• High grade MIG welded tensile steel structure
• Power: 220-240V 50-60 hz (suitable for country of destination)
• Power: 100-110V 50-60 hz (suitable for country of destination)
• UK power cord and plug (international orders will receive a suitable plug)
• Colour: Gloss black
• CE certified – ROHS compliant – Designed in UK – Made in China
In conclusion, I really love this machine. It’s even cheaper now than when I bought it and, honestly, I cannot complain about the price. I’ve used the machine a lot, on cam and off, and it has never failed me yet – and it has more than paid for itself!
A very small part of me (okay, maybe more than a small part) is considering buying a second machine, and honestly, I’m tempted to just buy another Willie Wanka. I feel like I’d just regret not getting a second one if a new machine didn’t live up to the standards set by this one!
The Willie Wanka PRO MkII Fantasy Machine is available to buy at sexmachines.co.uk, and is currently £190. It comes with free delivery and you can upgrade to a 3-year warranty. You can buy additional extras such as extentsion rods, fleshlight holders and a suction cup adaptor. I have only ever had good experiences with this company, and they have fantastic customer service, so I recommend them wholeheartedly. Click here for the product page!